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Saturday, April 29, 2017
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It's Springtime (and you can have it!)
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Well, it’s been an interesting few weeks around LazyDog Ranch to say the least. We got us some spring in the air (at least I think that’s what that smell is) and although I’ve seen my share of Springs, this one might just take the cake. Full of surprises or what a seasoned homicide detective might call “way too scary”.

First off, the “male” cat we just got for the barn wandered in (I swear if we were Catholic we’d be called the house of the perpetually open door) with six little kittens in tow. They immediately set to using every piece of furniture in the room as their own personal jungle gym and I suspect the dog was as surprised as I was cause he just sat there with me, slack jawed, watching the travelling circus unfold right there before us, one kitten drooped over his forehead pushing his eyebrows into a comic looking scowl.

Then, not more than a half hour later, in walks one boy telling the other that “Dad must’ve been trying to fix the leaky faucet again cause the waters off”. Only problem is, I hadn’t tried to fix that old kitchen sink for a few weeks now, hoping to let that nasty bump on my head heal and for the Missus to get over the trauma she hides so well behind laughter. Ah what a good sport.

So why was the water off? Down into the cistern I went. I was really just trying to LOOK down into the dark water when one of the kittens saw a chance to attack the unsuspecting dog who had loyally followed me outside, tennis ball in mouth, at the ready.

Well, it needed cleaning anyways and so the rest of that day was spent knee deep in bottom slime. It wasn’t so bad until I felt something brush up against my leg and I jumped up outta there like a scared jack rabbit….the only problem was, I wasn’t under the man hole at the time and now I have a matching bump on the other side of my head. But I did get the water problem fixed in due time using one of my “go to” tools, otherwise known as calling in a professional.

So you might be saying to yourself, “wow, I’m glad that’s over” (as a matter of fact I’ll bet that’s exactly what you’re saying) but not so fast mister or missus smarty pants reader, no no no!

About the time that the “Great Water Shortage of 2017” as my family so quaintly puts it, was at its end, in comes a storm that knocks out power to the Lazydog Ranch for nearly four days. Now let me tell ya’ll, unless you’ve spent four days in the same house as three internet/laptop/X-Box/Game Boy/TV/Youtube/Play Station addicted boys without electricity, you ain’t seen nothin! You’da thought they were all vampires the way they walked out into the sunlit yard holding their hands up to shield the glare.

The oldest looks at his brothers and says, quite seriously, “So this is it…this is how the world ends”. And the middle one says, equally seriously, “This all looks so real. Its almost like you can touch it!”. I wanted so bad to have him “experience” the virtual reality of a cactus we have in the yard but the Missus slammed the brakes on that as fast as I could think of it. She’s pretty much a psychic when it comes stopping to really good ideas that pop into my head like that.

So lets just say good ole San Isabel Lectric aint exactly on my good side right now. I suspect that goes both ways tho, after I called them acting like they was 9-1-1 and said that I was being attacked by a wife and three very bored boys and could they send an emergency pizza delivery feller out right away. Hold the onions.

Well, I guess all in all I can’t complain much as I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I had an entire, uneventful week…although I think I might like to try it.

Thanks fer listenin and if the lectricity ever comes back on, I’ll recheck this here article and it’ll be better in the light, I promise!

John


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The Greenhorn Valley View is a weekly newspaper serving the communities of the Greenhorn Valley in Southern Colorado,
including Colorado City, Rye, San Isabel, Beulah and Hatchet Ranch.

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